Voltaire said, God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh. Translated, if youre a tight ass, theres a two drink minimum to read this article.

Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, Ive questioned His existence. Most people will say the reason they doubt Gods existence is because, If theres a God, why is there so much suffering, and why is there war? Blah, Blah, blah, blah blah

My sole reason for doubting the existence of God is work. (I, however, never question the existence of a higher power for I worship at his altar every day from 9 to 5.)

If there is a God why do we not have five-day weekends and two-day workweeks? Hes God. He can make it happen. In God we trust, right? Well I trust in God to give us a five-day weekend.

Think of the positives of a two-day work week. Youd say things like, Wow, that workweek really flew bye.

Think of what it would do for the economy because as Americans what are we really, but consumers? Think of it this way. If the United States Senate can get away with only working 110 days a year, why cant we?

Women will have five full days a week to shop, and tell men what to do. Maybe, just maybe, well have more time to spend with our kids so they dont remain a bunch of illiterate crack heads.

More people might believe in heaven because life on earth wont be such a living hell.

I believe, with faith, God will grant us my wish. Let me illustrate through the Bible. Isnt it ironic that in the book of the Bible where the name of the person who suffers the most is spelled J.O.B.?

The story of Job is one of perseverance. Job is given leprosy, has his family, money and worldly possessions taken from him and its all a test of faith. It is a horrible story! I didnt like it when I read it but I said. Fine, Hes God. He can do what He wants. After all, it is His world. Like Job, who am I to question?

What I can question are employers playing the part of God by expecting us to have the patience of Job in order to keep our job. They may not be giving us infectious diseases but they are sure taking our money, ruining our personal lives, and making work a living hell. (Personally, I dont have the patience of Job. Im like the Prodigal Son–at the first sign of a party Im off to the fatted cow happy hour for half-price matzoh and dollar shots of Manishevitz. If I need some bread Ill come back in the morning crawling on my hands and knees.)

In the Book of Job, Job finally said, Hey God, how bout a little something for the effort? God responded, Dont question my authority but youre right. I have been a little harsh on you. Job then had all his riches returned ten-fold. Now thats pretty just, is it not?

Well, Im asking, Hey God, how bout a five-day weekend, for the heck of it? (If you see me on the golf course mid-week youll know God answered my prayers.)

Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.

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Yes, to see through the walls, saving schoolchildren trapped in burning schoolbuses and stopping bullets is cool, but how about these new powers?

1) The New and Improved Superman is a Golf Monster. He can finish an 18-hole golf tournament in 18 shots flat (whack! and it’s in). He embarrasses his rich nemeses each and every time, driving bad characters like Joker to suicide.

2) Superman is a Super Day Trader. He makes millions in options trading every morning while eating his Wheaties and drinking his coffee. He donates the proceeds to fight global warming and nuclear proliferation.

3) Superman is a Super Poker Bluffer (seeing the cards of all the other players with X-vision certainly helps). He wins the Poker World Championship every year without fail and donates his prize money as well as the gold bracelet to Gamblers Anonymous Emergency Fund.

4) Superman is a Super Dieter. He can lose 100 lbs within 24 hours whenever he wants it, holding the torch of hope and inspiration high for all dieters around the world.

5) Superman is a Super Recycler. He has 100 different recycling bins at his home, immediately dispatching all gum wrappers, bread crumbs, junk mail and fan letters to their appropriate bins.

6) Superman is a Super Lobbyist. He can raise funds for 1,000 causes simultaneously and he can appeal to all 535 members of the U.S. Congress in a flash and deliver client inputs to 1,000 piece of legislation every month.

7) Superman is a Super Multi Tasker. He can multi-task up to a million different pesky chores like taking the trash out while… teleconferencing with his global management company while changing the diapers of all babies in his neighborhood while stopping a robbery in progress while… petitioning his State Senator to vote for the Kyoto Convention while replying 2,869 e-mails through his Blackberry while writing 56 million lines of code to program his new digital toaster while shopping on the Internet for his girlfriend’s birthday present, while…

(Copyright 2006 Ugur Akinci, PhD)

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The Playstation 3 will be like a mini computer, with a huge amount of processing power. Some might even say more processing power than the now released XBOX 360.

When the Playstation 2 was released 7 years ago, the average number of games sold per unit sold was 5. Fastforward to the PSP; it released and has only sold about 2 games per PSP sold. This is mainly because of the multimedia aspect of the game. People are buying it to watch movies just as much as they are to play the games.

This doesn’t sound so bad, but it can cause problems for Sony. A lot of Sony’s income from video game consoles are the licensing fees they charge video game companies to create games on any of Sony’s console platforms. Thus, when less games are being sold, less money is being paid for the rights to make games since not as many games are being bought compared to the past.

Another possible problem with the Playstation 3 is the complexity of the interface. Since the Playstation 3 is so powerful, crtics are speculating that the console may confuse consumers and give the PS3 the reputation of being complicated.

Judging by the screenshots of games such as Fight Night Round 3 that were made for the Playstation 3 the life like imaging on the games are astounding.

Watever the case may be, we will have to wait until the release of the Playstation 3 to speculate on its features. One thing if for sure, it will be a feature packed console like nothing consumers have seen before.

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Why, I squirm as if caught in a velvet trapwell, I could, but my second husband is standing right behind me and might ask me what Im sitting on.

I loved my first husband, a wonderfully funny Jew whose parents had fled the Holocaust as kids. After a dozen roller-coaster relationships before my first real commitment, he was the only man I ever truly loved (Remigio, dont look over my shoulder!)

Anyway, several years and sanity-defying relationships later, I landed in a seat in front of Him 2 in a Certified Nurse Aide class, next to a perking coffee pot.

My first husband thought he lucked out marrying his attendant. Gary was dying. I fell in love with his stubborn courage. He was the first person who ever needed me. After he died, I had a tragically brief affair. If I write about everything that happened, itll make an excellent trashy novel.

But Remigio stopped my new single life cold by kicking the back of my chairHARD! He distracted me from talking to a middle-aged black lady, catching me in the middle of sniffling at her. I had a head cold.

I had been taking it out on Grace, who was overweight, casting her sidelong glances and sniffing loudly, while considering fetching her a cup of coffee. The pot was brewing close to me. It wouldve been hard for her to squeeze between the plastic seats. I began getting her coffee.

Sometimes I added creamer. I stirred it with the plastic stir sticks. She would ask me to add a sugar packet, please. But our relationship was rudely interrupted by the entrance of Remigios foot through the back of my plastic chair.

Turning around after the kick-off, I faced a flatly Philippino cold stare. The face, however, reminded me of a Middle-Eastern teacher Id noticed at Ohio University, back in the 1970s.

I gulped, So howre you doing? My Mom told me to be friendly to handsome strangers. And then Remigio smiled back. We got married, and near Christmas day three years later we were blessed by our Princess Angela, nut-brown as her Daddy and sporting my chipmunk cheekbones.

I guess Id suggest more single ladies try sniffling at people to see whose attention they attract. If so, it helps if you fetch cups of coffee. It soothes peoples tired, ruffled feathers.

Be sure and add cream and sugar.

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The original Sim City was very simple and by today’s standards, very primitive. The graphics were crude two dimensional blocks and the terrain itself was pretty unrealistic. But people had a blast playing it. As you kept building onto your city, which had to be done under certain basic rules, it became harder and harder to keep it from crumbling under your nose. There was a degree of realism to the game. As your city grew and the population grew with it, so did crime, pollution and all the other negative things that went along with a big city.

As was stated above, you did have to follow some basic rules. For starters, you couldn’t have a city without some kind of power plant, whether it be coal or nuclear. Nuclear was very expensive so you pretty much had to start off with a coal plant. You then put up your houses and businesses and had to connect them to the plant with electric lines and to each other with the same.

You were given a certain amount of money to do this. Everything cost money in this game, even the power lines. So you had to be very careful with the way you spent it. Income was derived by the taxes paid to you buy the people who moved into your city after you started to build it. Actually, at first you’re a town. You don’t get to be a city until you reach a certain population, which takes quite some time.

There are other ways you can make money such as putting up a stadium for sporting events. You can also put up a sea port to get income from trade. Airports can also be built. Eventually your city is really hopping. That’s when the fun starts. How?

Well, your roads start to crumble from the weight of all the traffic jams. People begin to complain because of the traffic, crime and pollution. They start to move out if things get too bad. When that happens, your income goes down. There’s not enough money to repair the roads. Funding for your police and fire departments is inadequate. Fires start to break out and there aren’t enough firemen to put them out. Things become a real mess.

As simplistic as Sim City is, it’s also a real challenge. Unfortunately, because of limitations of the game itself, cities can only get so big before the game crashes. Fortunately, Sim City 2000, a 3D version of this game, released in 1993, took care of this problem. Sim City 3000 came out in 1999 and Sim City 4 saw the light of day in 2003.

To this day, many people still get a thrill out of seeing their favorite city crash and burn.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to PC Games Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Russell

RTS stands for Real Time Strategy. Strategy because these games generally take a much larger perspective, casting the player as a general or commander of an army or even the leader of a civilization rather than as a single person. Real Time because the action moves forward whether the player acts or not. The alternative to Real Time is turn-based strategy, where each player moves in turn, taking whatever time they need. Turn based games tend to have deeper strategic components and complex non-military progressions that make them less popular with children. RTS games are a relatively benign genre, as they abstract the violence and conflict out to at least the unit level, removing much of the graphic gore found in FPS games and reducing it to numbers and lost units. They also tend to have complicated decision structures, making playing them a good exercise in critical thinking. Those same quick, complex decisions make this type of game difficult to look away from, particularly if the player is competing online where there may not be a pause button. Due to the less graphic content, this type of game doesn’t require as intense parental scrutiny as some others may, but it’s a good idea at least to casually observe a game and possibly to learn what the loading screen looks like so you can tell when “Just a minute” means “I’m in the middle of something,” and when it means “I just don’t want to do whatever you want me to do.”

MMORPG stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. They are descended from older, single player, RPGS. In this context, an RPG is a game that tells an evolving story using characters defined by various skills, attributes, and professions. The Massively Multiplayer part of the name comes from the fact that there can be upwards of several thousand players in a game world that may have surface area to rival small states. It is difficult to express how large and complicated these games can be. Accept that your children will talk about things you don’t understand, often about equipment or items they’ve acquired or battles they’ve fought. Put on your best “That’s nice dear” face and let it go. While it never hurts to try out the games your children play, you wont get nearly as much benefit from logging on to a MMORPG for a bit to see what its like, as they require a sizeable time investment to even get a feel for what’s going on.

That time investment gives rise to one of the biggest problems with MMORPGs. A gaming writer once suggested that MMORPG should be pronounced Morgue, because once you go in, you never come out. If your children are starting to get heavily into this type of game, watch how they spend their time. The game will always present something new to do, some greater hill to climb, and it can be easy to get caught up. Talk with your kids, make sure they know the limits on how much of their time they can spend playing, and what they need to get done first. That said; understand that they are often going to be playing the game with other people, to whom they may have made some degree of commitment. Be flexible and use your judgment when deciding whether to let them keep playing. Generally, it’s better not to let them start if you aren’t sure then to try to get them to stop once they’ve begun. Lean toward get your homework done first over quit in time to get your homework done.

Playing a game with thousands of others will expose your children to a wide variety of people. Most of them will be harmless, some will be helpful and a few will likely come to be good friends. However, there are a select few with malicious intent, just as there are in any large group. The fear here is much like that felt in letting your children use chat rooms or instant messaging service. The good news is that the type of real social predator parents fear are far less likely to in a game world, because the game itself is much more complicated than simply logging on to a chat room. Make sure your kids know that the danger exists, that they shouldn’t let anyone know anything more than generalities about whom they are outside the game, that there are bad people in the world. Ask them about their friends online, see what they know about them, watch for the same warning signs you would with any stranger that spends a lot of time with your kids. Again, most players are harmless or better, but you’re far better off being informed and watchful than complacent and hopeful.

We’ve barely touched the surface of the possibilities of online gaming, but hopefully you are better informed about what your children may be doing. Gaming is as good as any hobby and better than many. It has a lot of positive developmental benefits, but as with any activity out of your control there are things to watch for. Make clear, knowledgeable decisions about what’s right with your kids and stick to them. In the long run, they’ll thank you for it.

Steve is a member of the GrandMatrix team. They provide a broad range of games and puzzle articles and reviews. Read more articles and play the latest PC games for free plus thousands of user submitted puzzles, quizzes and word games at GrandMatrix Free Game Downloads

The Department of Homeland Security is extremely concerned that Al Queda may use these same tunnels to move weapons of mass destruction and sleeper cells into our nation. The most recent tunnel discovered is around a half a mile long. In the tunnel 2-tons of Marijuana was also seized.

Now then this begs the question of the Coal Mines in the world. We have Chinese Coal mines, which are experiencing some 1600 deaths per year. Recently in the United States in West Virginia one mining accident killed 12 people. Then a few weeks later another accident killed 3 more people.

Why is it that the Mexican Drug runners can build better tunnels than the coal mining industry? Some say it is the massive amount of money available to the drug smugglers is the reason. But we spend way more on our energy in this nation to heat our homes.

I propose next time we find a drug tunnel; we make cause it to cave in and collapse at one point. Then when the drug smugglers bring their tunnel makers in to repair it. We arrest them all and put them onto a chain gang to build some better tunnels for us? No, I am not high; I am serious, perhaps we should consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” – Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

Originally developed in Germany, a file extension that encodes music into three layers for the compression of audio signals known as the MPEG Audio Layer 3 (MP3). To make it simple, MP3 compresses CD-quality sound by a factor of about 10, while retaining most of the original fidelity, for instance, 30 MB CD track can be compressed into 3 MB MP3 file.

The MP3 files can easily be transferred across the internet since the files are relatively small. Nowadays, more and more websites allows you to download MP3 music from the internet for free and some may charge you for a few bucks. The most popular ones such as Napster and Kazaa often allows you to download it for free. However, it creates a problem for them as they apparently violated the copyrighted MP3 files and as a result facing unnecessary charges. Here are a couple of websites that I can think of:

http://www.realmusicnow.com

http://www.mp3-freebie.com

http://www.mp3musiq.com

http://www.mp3advance.com

http://klitetk.com

Is not just that MP3 can be found on the internet very easily but can also be converted from music CD. The process of converting a digital audio track from a music CD to the MP3 format is widely known as “ripping”. Music CDs can be converted to MP3 very easily using a stand-alone program or a function in a software-based media player such as Windows Media Player 10, Real Player, iTunes and others. Windows Media Player 10 can rip the MP3 bit rates from 8 kbps to 320 kbps but on average 128 kbps (kilobits per second) can be considered the norm of good quality MP3 files.

In my opinion, MP3 rates the best for converting and downloading music files quickly and easily. However, some disadvantages might disappoint us PSP and music fanatics since were finding the lowest possible MB (megabytes) that stores in our PSP memory stick. First, its difficult to convert music files provided by commercial online music distribution services such as Sonys Connect and iTunes Music Store. The supported and protected Digital Management Rights (DRM) music files aims to control and restrict the use of digital music. Also, the DRM technology installed on software-based media program such as Windows Media Player 10 makes it very difficult for us to convert online-purchased music files into MP3.

Second, the highly compressed and quality audio of MP3 files uses more of our memory stick capacity compare to Atrac3. The Atrac3 music format compress audio CD files to the lowest possible MB along with the same if not better audio quality than the MP3s. This can be good news for us music fanatics who wants to enhance music collection on their Sony PSP. Unfortunately Atrac3 is less user-friendly than the MP3 which disappoints most of us.

Regardless of this, everyone should get their MP3 and download it to their PSP. MP3 is the most standardized format and widely accepted throughout any software-based media player or converter. You can download or convert it to your Sony PSP very quickly and easily with its more intuitive and user-friendly approach.

So, start download MP3 music to your PSP now!

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